Health & Wellness

Guest Column

A Story of Addiction, Part 2

4ec8050981fcdcfa9fdb_b.JPG
Her high heels... Credits: TAPinto Montville staff
4ec8050981fcdcfa9fdb_b.JPG

TAPinto Montville recently received this story from a former addict who lives in town. She hopes that by reading this difficult story, someone might seek help. She is writing under a pen name, but her story is true. In part 2, M Gard talks about how she started on the road to overcoming her addiction. After years of illness and a doctor who prescribed daily IV drips of pain medication, M found herself severely addicted to not only the medication but the escape it provided.

She walked into my life at just the right time…

And there she was, standing in her high heels, designer dress and white coat - and don’t forget the gorgeous shiny red Chanel bag. She was a hospitalist and saw several patients daily. A hospitalist is responsible for admitting and rounding on patients in their service daily. She heard about what had happened to me and my battle with addiction. I was a complete stranger, just another patient. She has no responsibility to me. She didn’t need to spend more than five minutes with me. I was just another name and room number for her to see on her long list of patients and responsibilities on a given day. I had no desire to talk to her. I had no desire to do anything. I had no desire to stay clean, admit my wrongdoings and take responsibility. I had no desire to be upfront and ask for help with my addiction. I had no desire to let her or any doctor into my life and know the severity of my addiction.

Sign Up for E-News

At first I don’t believe I was even that responsive to her. At first I didn’t like her because she wouldn’t order me unlimited IV pain medicine. I needed to feel the rush that comes along with high of IV pain medicine.

She started to wean me off the IV pain medicine the correct way. At first I felt like she wanted me clean more than I wanted it or understood what was involved in achieving it.

After I decided I wanted to be clean, I accepted her help and was making progress.

When I wouldn’t listen or when she thought I might slip backwards, she was my prison warden. She was a great, effective prison warden - she kept me in line. She saw all my wonderful qualities that I was hiding. All the qualities that made me, me but that I just didn’t care about anymore. All those qualities became secondary since I became an addict. She encouraged me to be me and show all those qualities. According to her, I was so much more, and I was worthy of her help. I felt I was worthy of absolutely nothing. The more she heard what happened to me, I believe the more she wanted to help me.

One day she said to me, “I never, ever see you smile.” My response was, “For what? Look at what has happened to me.” Then I made a rule for when she came to visit me: no smiling, but we could laugh.

She came to see me basically every day, and she was so passionate about helping me. She sat and talked to me every day of a three-month hospital stay. Over time, I started to look forward to her visits and enjoy her company. On her days off she would still make time for me and call me. At this point, we had broken both rules, and we could smile and laugh together.

She helped me without labeling me a drug addict and without any stigma or labels. She helped me solely from her humongous heart. Every day, I told her she was my hero. She saved my life. Her response was, “You are my hero because YOU had the courage to stop a horrible thing, turn everything around and move forward.”

She gave me the first push I needed to do an incredible thing. Each and every day I have her support, my husband’s, children’s , family’s and inlaws’, some friends’. Each and every day, when I wake up, I thank her - for her time and for understanding me. I thank her for not being a selfish person. She was completely committed to having me overcome addiction. When I would say, “this is just so hard, I can’t do this,” she would push me along and yell at me to keep me motivated to move forward.

Do you believe that good comes from bad?

I just want the world to know how much of an amazing doctor she is. I want the world to know how much she has helped me and taught me to help myself. I want the world to know that without her, the ending to my story would have been different. I want the world to know that no other doctor in this world is like her. I want the world to know how good she has been to me, and continues to be.

After this nightmare of an experience, I believe only pain management doctors or addiction specialist doctors should be allowed to order pain medicine. All doctors should stick to her sub specialty and not order medications outside their scope.

My message to other addicts…

To anyone out there battling any type of addiction either intentionally or unintentionally caused-

To all addicts out there on your own journey-

To the addicts still suffering. I want you to get help before it’s too late.

To the addict I have never met, I want you to know it’s ok to admit you’re an addict.

To the addict I have never met. I have walked a long, lonely, troublesome walk in your shoes. I ask that you take “those” shoes off and throw them away. I want to give you hope. I want today to be different for you. I want today to be the end of your addiction and the start of the “new” and improved you. I want to buy you a new pair of shoes. I want to give you a “clean” start

I need you to understand the first step is the hardest step and the biggest step

I want to turn your dark days into bright beautiful productive days

I want you to believe in yourself. You can do this!!!

I want you to return to being an asset to society and your loved ones.

I want you to shoot for the stars. I want to you achieve your goals with flying colors. I want you to be your own success story. You can do this!

I want to hear all about your success. I want to be happy for all your clean days you have behind you. I want you to never, ever under any circumstances look backwards.

I want you to know, despite any bad feelings or cravings, you need to ignore them and keep moving forward. This journey only goes forward. There is no time to slip backwards. Everyone is different and it is okay to take suboxen or methadone as long as you stay clean.

You are not alone. I know it’s scary thinking about not getting high. Being successful is a must - not a option.

Please understand there is a big difference between wanting recovery and needing it.

Addiction will always be your dirty little secret. A vicious cycle you can break and you can defeat. I want you to beat up addiction and be the winner. I want you to never, ever look backwards.

I want to see you cross that finish line, putting your addiction behind you once and for all.

I want you to understand you have a disease, and with the correct treatment, you can overcome this. Just like people overcome and beat cancer, you can beat addiction.

To the addict I have never met. I want you to repeat after me: I am an addict. I am a good person and I deserve to beat this. I only want better for myself.

I want you to know it’s okay to ask for help. Everyone battling addiction needs and deserves help.

It’s time for a change. Break that cycle. I want you to be able to believe in your own strength. I want you to believe in miracles.

If you or someone you love needs help with addiction, please call CARES, the Center for Addiction Recovery Education & Success at 973-625-1143. Or go to http://morris.caresnj.org/ .

The opinions expressed herein are the writer's alone, and do not reflect the opinions of TAPinto.net or anyone who works for TAPinto.net. TAPinto.net is not responsible for the accuracy of any of the information supplied by the writer.

The opinions expressed herein are the writer's alone, and do not reflect the opinions of TAPinto.net or anyone who works for TAPinto.net. TAPinto.net is not responsible for the accuracy of any of the information supplied by the writer. Click here to submit a Guest Column.

TAP Into Another Town's News:

You May Also Be Interested In

Sign Up for E-News

Plainfield

You Meet the Most Amazing People on the Trail

The weather cooperated this weekend, so I went for more than one hike. After all, there are only just over fifty days before my walk to Maine commences, so why not.

This Saturday, some friends dragged me away from housecleaning (thank you!) for a quick jaunt through Watchung Reservation.  While we were there, we ran into two individuals from Westfield; the cosplayers introduced themselves ...

Go Take a Walk

Friday, March 30 was Take a Walk in the Park Day, so I did.  I really didn't have an excuse to not do so; the sun was shining, I had the day off, and I had no plans for the rest of the day.  So after a session with Abbe, my trainer at LifeTime Fitness, I made the short trip to Lake Surprise in Watchung Reservation. 

As I made my way around the lake, it was easy to see how ...

Upcoming Events

Carousel_image_f81187da64c60de383ac_carefree_fridays

Fri, April 20, 6:00 PM

Plainfield High School, Plainfield

Carefree Fridays: Bridging the Gap with Law ...

Arts & Entertainment Police & Fire

Fri, April 20, 7:00 PM

Shiloh Baptist Church, Plainfield

Shiloh Baptist Church - 2018 Women's Conference ...

Religions And Spirituality

Carousel_image_76b50dcb673435ebd963_hkd_webbanner_300x250_e

Sat, April 21, 11:30 AM

Plainfield YMCA, Plainfield

Plainfield YMCA Healthy Kids Day

Health & Wellness

HOPES Community Action Partnership, Inc. on Panel Celebrating the 20th Anniversary of New Jersey’s Abbott Preschool Program

April 19, 2018

On March 14, 2018, Joselyn Estevez-Vargas, Director of Early Childhood at HOPES Community Action Partnership, Inc., was among the early childhood education experts invited to participate on a panel to discuss best practices at the core of the Abbott program.  New Jersey’s Abbott Preschool Program came into existence by order of the New Jersey Supreme Court in the landmark Abbott v.

Op-Ed: New Jersey’s Out-of-Network Bill is a huge blow to the middle-class

April 5, 2018

As Trenton currently looks to balance the budget, once again it’s our state’s hardest working citizens who will be left holding the bag. This time, though, it will be the hardworking office and ancillary staff from our small business private medical practices.  A bill called “The Out-of-Network Consumer Protection Bill” A-2039/S-485 looks poised to make ...

More Than Just Kindness for Roxbury Student Adored by Tragically Killed Boy

April 17, 2018

ROXBURY, NJ – She lost her 10-year-old son three years ago in a boating accident on Lake Hopatcong, but Laurie D’Amico is sure her beloved Christopher speaks to her all the time. It’s subtle but firm, she says; messages that come as sparks of recollection, inspiration or intuition.

One of those unexpected inklings led Laura and her husband Chris to a jewelry ...

Blood Drive en Plainfield High School el viernes

April 12, 2018

PLAINFIELD, NJ - Un esfuerzo de sangre se llevará a cabo el viernes en Plainfield High School en asociación con la Cruz Roja Americana.

¿Alguna vez se ha preguntado qué le sucede a la pinta de sangre que dona?

Según la Cruz Roja, la donación se almacena en refrigeradores helados hasta que se transporta a un centro de la Cruz Roja y se escanea en una ...

Springtime Advice from Rapps Pharmacy

April 17, 2018

It may not feel like spring, but that spring weather is right around the corner and so is allergy season!  Here is some friendly advice from Rapps Pharmacy, your neighborhood pharmacy:

Combating the Allergy Season

As seasons change and pollen counts rise, more and more people clash with the aggravating symptoms of seasonal allergies. Beginning in February and lasting into early summer, ...

Featured Business: NJ Printing & Embroidery LLC

Featured Business: NJ Printing & Embroidery LLC

Nestled in the heart of Plainfield is NJ Printing & Embroidery, a family-owned business providing digital screen printing and embroidery for custom shirts, caps and other items.

The company also offers custom printed business cards, fliers, banners and storefront vinyls, and can provide expert graphic art design upon request.

Eric ...

'The Sting' shimmers and shakes at Paper Mill

‘The Sting ‘slithers and shakes at Paper Mill Playhouse

By LIZ KEILL

MILLBURN, NJ – In a premiere production of “The Sting,” Harry Connick Jr. commands the Paper Mill Playhouse stage in Millburn.

Based on the sensational Paul Newman/Robert Redford film in 1973, the 1930s plot centers on a con game and gambling, sometimes on a train between New York and ...

Retro Review: Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo

Retro Review: Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo (Citadel Press, 1970)

 

How does a reviewer do justice to a book called “the great American novel”? I first read Johnny Got His Gun during the Viet Nam war, when young people, nationwide, were protesting fighting in a war that was a senseless waste of life; a war in which the United States had no business participating.

The Truth About My Reading

The Truth About My Reading

I didn't get my Composition and Literature teacher at Montclair State College at all. A crusty old man with a dour disposition, Mr. Smith always seemed angry and rude. He appropriately intimidated freshmen, even me, an English major, who found this common core course beneath my dignity. Frankly, as a graduate of Highland Park High School, and a survivor of Mrs.

The German Girl

The German Girl by Armando Lucas Correa (Washington Square Press, 2016)

For each of the twelve million victims murdered during World War II there is a gutwrenching story to be told. I have read hundreds of memoirs, biographies, plays, and novels that recount the stories of the martyrs; some are exceptional, some are fair. The German Girl by Armando Lucas Correa, an award-winning journalist, ...

The Skin Collector

The Skin Collector by Jeffery Deaver (Grand Central, 2014)

Jack the Ripper. The Boston Strangler. The Texas Watchtower Killer. The Zodiac Killer. The Angel of Death. The Butcher. BTK. The police and the press have a long history of dubbing serial killers with names that catch the attention of the public, usually having the effect of instilling greater fear and selling more print media so that ...

Queen Mary and the Cruiser

Queen Mary and the Cruiser by David A. Thomas and Patrick Holmes (Naval Institute Press, 1997)

“Had the forenoon watch and after eating went out onto the fo'c'sle. Just arrived at the top of the ladder by the PO's heads when the wave hit me---waist high---and knocked me over. Looking astern---through the bulkhead door which was open, saw the stern of a ship sticking up out of ...

In Cold Blood by Truman Capote

In Cold Blood by Truman Capote (Random House, 1965)

 

In Cold Blood is, quite simply, the grand-daddy of true crime writing, dubbed by Capote, himself, as the first non-fiction novel (although Norman Mailer argued the point when he published The Executioner's Song in 1979.) The conditions under which I read In Cold Blood for the first time were pretty weird, which was another ...