You're Not Alone

Have you ever felt you had no friends? Maybe it was when you were a child.  Maybe it was when you moved to a new town.  Maybe it was yesterday.  Regardless of when it happened, it’s one of the loneliest feelings a person can have.

I remember when my daughter was in kindergarten and she was learning to navigate the bigger world. The most memorable and heartbreaking moment for me was when her inexperienced kindergarten teacher told the class on the last week of school that they should each pick two people they wanted to sit next to.  Then, they were supposed to stand up and say the names of the two people.

As anyone with children would have guessed, some people’s names were not going to be mentioned.  There were only six girls in the class.  If each one said two names some children would be excluded.  So, that day, when my daughter came home and said, “I had the worst day at school today,” my heart just broke. Naturally, I wanted to throttle the teacher for coming up with such a ridiculous exercise.

Sign Up for E-News

Instead, I tried to show my daughter that mathematically she wasn’t the only person whose name hadn’t been called.  When she told me that one girl’s name had been said by five of the girls (including her), I explained that others had to have been left out as well.  She was so intent on listening for her name (as anyone would have been) that she never noticed whether other people were left out too.  That day, she felt like she had no friends.  It didn’t matter that I showed her the birthday party invitation she had for the next week, or reminded her of the many playdates she had scheduled with girls who she had, until that morning, considered to be her friends.  That one school exercise made her feel alone.

Fortunately, because she was five, she rebounded in a day, and there were no lasting effects from that particular event.  In fact, except for my bringing it up, she doesn’t even remember it happening.  Have there been other times where she’s felt like she’s had no friends?  Of course.  Haven’t you had them?  In fact, wouldn’t we all do each other a service if we admitted to each other that everyone feels this way every once in awhile?

There are many people who create the image that everything is perfect.  They publically exude perfection: their family is perfect, their work-life is perfect, and their relationships are perfect.  They may or may not intend to create this impression.  But the result is the same.  People who don’t feel like they have it all together believe there is something wrong with them.  Why can’t I be like, so-and-so?  She’s got it all figured out.  Why don’t I?

The reality is, no one has it all figured out.  Everyone feels like they have no friends, every once in awhile. So, if you ever feel like you are alone, you should know that you’re not alone, because that’s how we all feel, every once in awhile.

Nancy Klingeman is married to Henry and the mom of two teenage daughters. She is a writer, a lawyer, and an observer of life's daily pageantry. 


The opinions expressed herein are the writer's alone, and do not reflect the opinions of or anyone who works for is not responsible for the accuracy of any of the information supplied by the writer.

TAP Into Another Town's News:

You May Also Be Interested In

Sign Up for E-News


Road Resurfacing Work in Randolph for July 9 - 16

July 7, 2018

Below is a list of the streets for the upcoming resurfacing work. All roads will remain open for local traffic and emergency vehicles. Motorists should allow additional time for travel.

Street Name
Dates of Milling
Dates of Paving

Springhill Road - Forrest Road to #40

Musiker Avenue - Morey Lane to ...

Randolph Diner: Serving Up the Next Version of the Diner Experience

July 16, 2018

RANDOLPH, NJ- A diner, back in the early days of diners, typically referred to a restaurant that resembled a dining car on a train. Today, most diners still have a long counter and an array of booths lining the windows – much like the old railroad dining cars – but in many communities, the “diner” evolved into something more than a restaurant.

The diner became a ...

Upcoming Events


Thu, July 19, 9:00 AM

Brooklyn Bagel, Randolph

Coffee with a Cop

Community Calendar


Thu, July 19, 7:00 PM

Randolph Township Free Public Library, Randolph

Musical Monters

Community Calendar


Mon, July 23, 9:30 AM

Randolph Township Free Public Library, Randolph

Nursery Rhyme Time

Arts & Entertainment Community Calendar Health & Wellness Other

Catriona Lucus Selected to Play in 2018 National Lacrosse Academy  

July 16, 2018

RANDOLPH, NJ- Catriona Lucus, a rising freshman at Randolph High School has been named as a 2018 Maverik National Lacrosse All-Star and has been selected to attend the Maverik National Lacrosse Academy to be held July 16-19, 2018 in Frederica, Delaware at the DE Turf Sportsplex.

Catriona plays on the DEWLAX 2022 West club lacrosse team as well as being chosen to play with the DEWLAX ...

Geoffrey the Giraffe Moves In To New Brunswick Children's Hospital

July 12, 2018

NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ - Over a stretch of nearly 70 years, Geoffrey the Giraffe at Toys R Us stores was the symbol of happy times for generations of children, and now he may provide those same feelings for children coming to a hospital.

"From this day forward, Geoffrey stands tall in our lobby to encourage our smallest patients to smile when they enter our facilities," said John ...

Education: A Bedrock of Democracy, Civic Engagement and Economic Prosperity

July 6, 2018

More than 240 years ago, our nation’s founders envisioned a country where individuals could forge their own destinies and not be constrained by the circumstances of birth. The essential concept was that people could govern themselves and participate in democracy, or what Benjamin Franklin and others called “a great experiment.” The vision was bold and has flourished as the ...

Murphy Administration Takes Action to Help Smokers Quit

July 16, 2018

Eliminates Prior Approval for Medicaid Tobacco Cessation Medications; Counseling Options to be Expanded

July 16, 2018

(TRENTON) – The Murphy administration on Monday announced new steps to help New Jersey Medicaid recipients quit using tobacco by making it easier to receive tobacco cessation medications and counseling.

“Tobacco use is the leading preventable cause of death ...

Garden State Urology named a Center of Excellence by NAFC

Urology group recognized for exemplary care, dedication to patients

WHIPPANY, NJ – Garden State Urology, part of Atlantic Medical Group, was recently designated a Center of Excellence by the National Association for Continence.

Garden State Urology is a cooperative urology group that provides residents in northwestern New Jersey with a modern, integrated, comprehensive health care ...

Registration open for Randolph Hebrew with Early Bird Discount!

Entering its 17th year, Randolph Hebrew of Morris County has opened registration to new students for the upcoming school year that is set to begin on Sunday, September 16th.

Randolph Hebrew enjoys a well-earned reputation as a trend setter in creative Jewish education. It's well trained staff, cutting edge curriculum along with the teacher to student ration allows for individualized ...

Take the 2018 TAPinto Reader Survey

How often do you read TAPinto?  Have you downloaded the TAPinto APP?  These are a few of the questions for readers in our 2018 TAPinto Reader Survey.

We want to hear from you!

The survey will take less than five minutes to complete and will help TAPinto better serve you. 

Take the 2018 TAPinto Reader Survey.

Thank you.  We appreciate your support and ...

Atlantic Health System, MedExpress partner in 11 New Jersey Urgent Care Centers

Atlantic Health System, an integrated health care delivery system, and MedExpress, a neighborhood health care provider, are collaborating to coordinate care between MedExpress' 11 neighborhood medical centers in northern New Jersey and Atlantic Health System's extensive clinically integrated network of physicians, hospitals and other care sites.

The jointly owned centers will enable ...


AtlantiCast: Episode 18

On this week’s AtlantiCast, you’ll find out how accessing care at Atlantic Health System is now easier, more affordable and closer to home than ever, learn which item from the produce aisle could be the newest weapon against cancer, see what Atlantic Health System, the New York Times and Instagram all have in common and much more.