Children, careers and many outside commitments and responsibilities, can make it difficult to stay connected to your partner. As a couple, it is so easy to get caught up with the daily activities of life even when it is life’s enjoyable moments. We take pride and responsibility in raising our family and ensuring that our children have all their needs met.
However, parenting can be stressful and children limit their parents’ couple time. Couples have needs that must be met. It is so easy to lose your couple connection for the sake of other pressing priorities. Date nights can strengthen a couple’s sense of commitment to one another. Scheduling time for date night is an opportunity to communicate and rekindle that romantic spark.
It is important to establish a weekly night to go out alone and make it a priority above all else. The message that you give to your partner is that the relationship is very important. Most people put the children first instead of the relationship. This promotes a sense of entitlement for children and burn out and resentment for parents.
Most marriages begin with romantic love that is linked to passion, excitement and an overwhelming sense of attraction to the one you love. Over time, the passion can fade if you do nothing to nurture it. Date nights have the potential to take your marriage and make it spicy, meaningful and fun again. Research shows that couples who schedule weekly time together to go out, have happier and healthier relationships.
Here are a few tips on how to schedule date night:
- Schedule a weekly night out whether rain or shine. (Must be the same night each week).
- Make sure you have the sitter lined up every week.
- It is important that the two of you go out and not include other couples.
- You can alternate with who makes the plan of where to go and surprise one another.
- While on your date: DO NOT TALK ABOUT THREE THINGS: THE KIDS, FINANCES OR WORK.
Date night helps you focus on you as a couple. Be disciplined about getting on a regular schedule and taking the time for just the two of you. It’s important to talk about more than just parenting and maintaining the household. By not talking about the kids, finances or work, it enables you to talk about your own goals and dreams, wants and desires and allows for a deeper understanding of each other, thus creating emotional intimacy.
At first your children might be surprised by date night and/or even upset, and find it corny and poke fun. Within time, they will welcome the babysitter because they see that as a break from their routine. After a while they begin to recognize that their parents like each other enough to want to spend time alone and it gives them a sense of safety and security.
Be selfish with your time and make your relationship a priority. This will benefit you and your family.
At the Hellenic Therapy Center, 567 Park Avenue, Scotch Plains, NJ, we have a team of licensed professionals who can assist you with any marriage and family or individual issues. We are available day, evening and weekend hours. Visit www.hellenictherapy.com or call 908-322-0112.
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