Two weeks ago Gidget and I attended the 12th annual Dog Walk and Pet Fair at FDR Park in Yorktown. The event was billed as a fund-raising event for dogs of all shapes and sizes, but most of the participants were dog-shaped. Gidget is the feisty, impertinent, gorgeous, 45-pound, natural redheaded actress that I’ve been seen around town with. You can see her in her starring role in “Gidget Gets a Package” on YouTube.

We arrived a little late, and fell into the procession of canines and their friends strolling the perimeter of the park. As we were walking the parade route I noticed that a fire hydrant along the way was running. It was running as fast as it could, and the last I saw of it it was headed toward the Taconic State Parkway.

We made it to the main tents and sponsor area, where there were many vendors and booths. There were people selling dog accessories, dog tattoos (not sure if the tattoos were for you or the dog), “dog sports and training” (not sure if the training was for you or the dog), and all kinds of treats (these were for the dog, I found out the hard way).

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There was a real estate booth there, I’m not sure why, but if you get home and find that your dog has entered into contract on your house, at least you’ll know how it happened.

Of course, the SPCA was sponsoring adoptions of many fantastic animals. Many people there had taken in dogs from the SPCA or other shelters and rescue operations, which is certainly commendable. I was turned down when I even tried to adopt a highway, since I told them I wanted to keep it in my garage and use it to avoid traffic at the shore.

Everyone loved Gidget and we made a lot of friends. A cold nose in your rear end on a chilly day once would be startling enough to cause you to jump two feet into the air. When it happened 20 times in a row, the other dogs assumed Gidget was a kangaroo and gave up. It even happened to me once, I didn’t turn around but I’m guessing it was a dog.

This may offend some dogs, hopefully only small ones that I’m not as scared of: I consider every dog that is smaller than mine to be a Yorkie. I don’t care much for Yorkies.

“Well, this is not a Yorkie,” you say. “It’s a schnipperschnoodle. It’s half Schipperke, half Pekingese, half schnauzer and half noodle.”

“What about the other half?”

“The other half is a cheese Danish.”

“What’s that in the back?”

“Trailer hitch.”

“It sounds like a mutt.”

“It’s not. It cost $3,000 and I had it designed specifically for my needs using a questionnaire from the internet, and produced with a 3-D printer. I had to pay for it with bitcoin.”

“Well, where is the origin of the breed?”

“DuPont Laboratories in Tonawanda. So it’s part lab.”

“It looks sturdy.”

“It has on-demand four-wheel drive, so it’s great in the snow. You attach a sled to this dog and I guarantee you you’ll never see either the dog or the sled again.”

“How’s its disposition?”

“Dreadful. You have kids? Your kids won’t even know it has a horrible disposition if they’re not old enough to know what a disposition is. They’ll just think it has an awful personality, and you’re good to go. By the way, my mother-in-law has one, too.”

“A schnipperschnoodle?”

“No, an awful personality.”

Somers Historical Society: for news and information on exhibits, resources, events, membership and sponsors, visit somershistoricalsoc.org. To donate or volunteer at the SPCA of Westchester, please visit spca914.org. Say hello to Rick Melén at rlife8@hotmail.com.