Man Overboard

March 20, 2019

International Women’s Day was held on March 8. What is an International Woman? It’s probably a woman who has dual citizenship, or someone with a lot of stamps on their passport. I was in Sweden a couple years ago, and I said could you please stamp a couple stamps right on my face there on page ...

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Every weekday morning before work I stop at the coffee cart in front of my office building. The proprietor is a deft multi-tasker and pours me an excellent cup of java, finds two Sweet ‘N Lows, adds a small amount of milk and makes my change all while discussing the merits and shortcomings of every ...

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If you travel about two hours north on the New York State Thruway and then exit the highway, you’ll find yourself in an enchanted foreign land. An exotic place where there is less pressure to keep up with the Kardashians. I have to admit, I’m starting to fall behind, their names sound alike and ...

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I got a “smart phone” for Christmas, and I thought I would report on how I’m doing with it so far. To call it a smart phone in the first place is overstating things, because if it had any sense at all it would not be hanging out with me. But now I can do all sorts of things that I never could ...

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We host a Super Bowl party every year, only I can’t say the words “Super Bowl” because I could be accused of trademark infringement. I’ve never knowingly infringed upon anything in my life and I’m afraid I’ll get caught red-handed one of these days. “Hey YOU- what are you doing over there at the ...

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My sister Kathy and her husband generously allow us to use her home in the Poconos for a ski weekend, regardless of the fact that she could be named in a lawsuit because of something I did on the ski slopes. Luckily her husband is a lawyer. A ski trip is a great way to stand up against the fierce ...

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We’re almost a month into the new year, and I wanted to ask you how your New Year’s resolutions were holding up. If you answered, “Oh crap! Thanks for reminding me!” Then I’m guessing not so good. If you didn’t even bother to make any resolutions because you knew you wouldn’t keep them, then that’s ...

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If you’re as cynical as I am then you probably already know that we’re headed straight for Hell in a hand basket. And if you attended the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas this year, you could get an idea of what Hell is going to look like when we get there, and whether the hand basket will ...

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Already, really dumb things are happening in 2019, so I had better get through covering 2018. Here are the rest of the news items from last year that you swore you didn’t have anything to do with, and no one believed you. ELON MUSK LAUNCHES TESLA INTO SPACE When I first read this headline I ...

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You’ve probably seen all those other “Year in Review” articles in the fake news mainstream media, but right now I’m going to recap the stories that are really important, the issues that are the most meaningful to your everyday lives. These are true stories, and the truest thing about them is that I ...

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Last Friday we went to the taping of NPR’s “Wait Wait... Don’t Tell Me!” radio quiz program at Carnegie Hall. We eventually made it to the show, which was very funny as always. But of course we first had to go see the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center. There were so many people around, I just ...

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Last Sunday we strolled into town for the lighting of the Somers Christmas tree. The weather outside was frightful. It was dark and rainy, so any light at all would have been welcome, but we had to wait until 5:00PM before the tree was illuminated, and we had an hour and a half to sing some ...

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I went to the Health Fair at work a couple weeks ago, where all the medical plan insurance companies get together and fight over me. They are so friendly when I am healthy, I just don’t have the heart to tell them that even though I seem like a mess on the exterior, the interior is probably worse.

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Last Sunday we went on a fundraising cruise in support of the Sing Sing Prison Museum, a project which is starting to take shape on the site of the legendary correctional facility in Ossining. It will tell stories from many different sides, the ones you’ve heard and the ones you haven’t. “Old ...

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We went to see a fine production of Harper Lee’s “To Kill a Mockingbird” at the Shubert Theater last week. The show was adapted fairly faithfully by Aaron Sorkin, directed by Bartlett Sher and featured a capable cast led by Jeff Daniels. I had read the book when I was a wee lad but didn’t remember ...

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A few thoughts are about all I can rally before I get a severe headache. I’ve never been a particularly political person. I’ve voted Republican, I’ve voted Democrat, and I’ve voted third-party. I’ve made a conscious effort to avoid overt politics here, other than to make a joke or two that I ...

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What did you do for Halloween? I love a party on the Saturday before Halloween for all sorts of reasons, and the most important of those is the prevalence of candy that does not try to pretend to be good for you. Just give me a Kit Kat bar, a Butterfingers, some peanut M & Ms and a Three ...

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Twice a year the Tarrytown Music Hall hosts a Family Fun Day, where parents and kids can stop by and get a close-up look at the theater. As a Music Hall volunteer, I often help out on those days so I can keep in touch with the community and sit in seats that I'm normally too cheap to purchase.

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Most people know how to sing, many people like to sing and some people love to sing. It’s an unique diversion that lies at the intersection of many disparate disciplines. There is usually a tune involved, and whatever artistry that comes with it. There are usually lyrics, and so meaning and context ...

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Last Saturday the Somers Volunteer Fire Department held an open house, where they invited residents to come over and take a closer look at what they do and how they do it. I brought the ever-furry Gidget-the-dog with me, to see if she might take to the lifestyle and consider becoming a firedog.

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Last Sunday your faithful travel correspondent (that’s me) took a ride to the town of Tuxedo to check out the New York Renaissance Faire. We had never been up there, and had no idea what to expect. The Faire is a bit of a mish-mosh of all kinds of fantasy and reality, but I had already temporarily ...

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Local business is the economic driver that keeps most towns moving. Entrepreneur Magazine says that small businesses provide 60 to 80 percent of all U.S. jobs. And last Saturday they got a chance to meet their customers at Celebrate Somers, set up by the Chamber of Commerce. The Towne Center was ...

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This is the kind of thing that runs through my mind on a daily basis, and FYI, I am not proud of it: I was thinking the other day that somewhere in a glass office in the Googleplex, there’s a guy in the Self-Driving Car Division who heads a department that oversees the development of an algorithm ...

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There’s a chill in the air, a tart briskness that seems like you could shatter it with a hammer. Most people would reach for a pullover, but that chill causes me to break into a sweat. Even after all these years, the first time I feel Jack Frost nipping at my nose, an abject panic sets in and I ...

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We went to see a musical comedy at the Belasco Theater last Thursday, and I want to give it a shout out because it was nonstop fun, and it’s called “Gettin’ the Band Back Together.” I won’t give too much of the plot away, even though when we saw the play they gave the whole plot away anyway by the ...

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It’s becoming harder and harder to keep your kids entertained today. Even taking them to a Major League Baseball game can mean a serious cash outlay, and it’ll cost you even more if you bring them back. I read on the internet that if you factor in ticket prices, parking, scorecards, food, drinks ...

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Fire Island is one of the three barrier islands that run parallel to the southern Long Island shore. Our friends Jenn and Jeff have been going there since childhood, and they arranged an awesome summer rental right on the ocean. We were about 75 feet from the water, so you didn’t even need ...

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Yesterday evening I worked up quite a thirst and had a hankering to visit the local watering hole. There’s a saloon right up Route 22 that has a country feel to it, so I saddled up and went on over. The first thing I do when I walk into a place like that is look up and check out the chandeliers.

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As a public service to my readers I like to go to a place I’ve never been before, spend a couple days, see the sights and file a full report so you can decide for yourself if you want to go there. And since I’m not there any more, this would be a great opportunity for you to go. This time we ...

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Last week it was announced that the Daily News had laid off half its editorial staff. The parent company, the aptly named Tronc, Inc., explained that the layoffs were necessary in order to focus on its online media. If you plan to get all your news online, you probably know by now that the internet ...

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