CALABASH, NC - I’m back! It’s me Johnny Four Fingers. This year I will once again provide my weekly NFL picks, but before the season starts I want to make my 2017 preseason picks for Division winners, the Super bowl matchup and the Super Bowl winner.
These picks are not for the faint of heart, and nor is my column. My column is full of satire. If it ever becomes too much, too bad. You can always waste your time on snapface or instant chat or whatever Bill Belichick calls it. As many of my followers know I am a Central Jersey guy that is retired living the good life in Dixie. Does anyone ever retire and head north on I95?
Anyway, I sometimes make references to my former colleagues such as Tuna and Kenny the Scrap, but as TAP expands so will my column. I hear TAP is now in Holmdel/Colts Neck. I remember hitting a few bars down there after leaving Monmouth Park. TAP also is in Newark. I can’t really put in print what I did in Newark.
Tuna happened to win the year-end prize at KC’s Korner two years ago. I’m sure he and his sidekick “Kenny the Scrap” will be gunning for me once again. Long before there was Benny the Jet, there was Kenny the Scrap. He is a formidable foe, but after sitting out last year I’m all ready for 2017.
Before making my playoff picks I want to make a statement about the Giants and Jets. Neither will make the playoffs. The Giants will underperform, but the Jets will be awful. The Piscataway Chiefs could beat the Jets. Selling your Jets’ season tickets will be like trying to sell a Yugo. Good luck. The Jets will be lucky to have two wins.
NFC East – Kirk Cousins’ has a huge year, DAK and the Cowpokes have a sophomore swoon. The Redskins defense is stout. They are politically incorrect and will eek out an NFC East Title.
NFC North – Minnesota defense is strong enough to push the Vikings past the Packers.
NFC South – Atlanta let the Super Bowl get away. They thought they had won after 3 ½ quarters, but Brady makes you play 60 minutes. The Dirty Birds comeback with vengeance and win the South and more.
NFC West – Carson Palmer has a great cast around him and has one great season left. Cardinals grab the South title and force Seattle into a Wildcard spot.
AFC East – Prediction upset special. The Bills bring an end to the Patriots AFC East run. This sounds like a crazy pick, but hey they are letting the Juice out of jail.
AFC North – The Bengals always seem to get that late season injury that kills their playoff hopes. Not this year. Dalton and A.J. smoke the Steelers and the AFC North.
AFC South – Houston has gone through a tough time with Harvey. They stay focused and have a great season.
AFC West – Kansas City has lost their two starting running backs from a year ago, but it doesn’t matter. Andy Reid is a winner. His first big win was leaving the Eagles. Reid’s squad makes it to the Super Bowl.
Super Bowl Prediction
Atlanta 30 Kansas City 27
Matt Ryan Super Bowl