Health & Wellness

Guest Column

Break Ups Are Difficult

Breaking up is very difficult. You can compare a break-up to a loss such as divorce or death. Navigating through a break up can be very challenging especially if it has been a long term relationship. Although length of relationship sometimes does not matter… it’s the intensity of the relationship and how invested you were Oftentimes we linger on in a relationship even knowing that it no longer serves us. Intellectually we know that the relationship no longer elevates us, challenges us nor brings out the best in us, instead it brings out the worst in us.

We stay in these relationships for so many reasons. Change and fear of the unknown can be so great that we are willing to live with the familiarity of the abuse even though it hurts us. Oftentimes people will jump into another relationship even before they are fully recovered from their existing relationship in order to avoid the pain, grief and healing process. Yet, it is with these difficult feelings that we can heal and get to a better place.  I normally tell my clients that if they haven’t fully understood why this relationship ended, what went wrong, what their triggers were, they will get into another one and repeat the exact same pattern. It’s important to realize that once you have experienced a break-up, you are in a vulnerable state. You are in a grieving mindset. For example, if you are coming out of a verbally abusive relationship, hearing someone new compliment you can lead you right down the same path in no time. Why? Because you haven’t fully grieved nor healed and perhaps haven’t had enough time to understand the reasons you stayed in the relationship for as long as you did.

Be patient with yourself and allow yourself all the time you need to heal. If you believe that you are hurting too much, it’s best to talk to someone. You could be grieving the relationship for so many reasons including fear of being alone, fear of dating again, low self esteem, feelings of rejection and abandonment.

Sign Up for E-News

It is so important that you take care of yourself during this time. Treat yourself to a massage, attend a yoga class, go to the gym, journal, and involve your friends in your plans.  During this time it is especially helpful to have a good support system and not isolate yourself.

We at the Hellenic Therapy Center, 567 Park Avenue, Scotch Plains, NJ have a team of licensed professionals available day, evening and weekend hours who can help.  Visit us at www.hellenictherapy.com or call 908-322-0112.

TAP Into Another Town's News:

You May Also Like

Sign Up for E-News

Westfield

Clark Historic Archives to be Unveiled to Public During Special Event

September 24, 2017

CLARK, NJ — On Friday, Sept. 29, Clark Township’s Online Historical Archives will be revealed during a special presentation at the Clark Library. The collection includes books, historic photos, yearbooks and images of old newspapers.  

The public is invited to join the Clark Library Board of Trustees, Friends of the Clark Library and other town officials at this ...

Linda Habgood Will Get the Job Done!

September 22, 2017

Ladies and Gentlemen:

I encourage the residents of Westfield’s 1st Ward to support the candidacy of Linda Habgood for town council. 

I’ve known Linda for 25 years and believe that her character, integrity, determination, and professional and community experience will serve the 1st Ward and the town extremely ...

Ward 2 Candidate Describes Road Safety Concerns

September 23, 2017

Dear Editor:

Summer is becoming a memory, school starts again for our children, and it is a time of new beginnings. For me, the campaign to become a second ward town councilman accelerates into full swing.

I have spent the last several months canvassing my ward, which encompasses Washington and part of Wilson school districts as well as a swath below South Avenue, listening to concerns ...

Upcoming Events

Mon, September 25, 5:00 PM

Chipotle, Westfield

Pink Out Fundraiser at Chipotle

Food & Drink Giving Back

Carousel_image_cedcf0aa54515da3ea99_tap_building

Tue, September 26, 7:00 PM

Municipal Building, Westfield

Westfield Town Council Meeting

Community Calendar Government

Tue, September 26, 7:30 PM

Edison Intermediate School, 2nd Floor, Library, Westfield

Back to School with the Westfield Special ...

Education

Union County College to Participate in National Day of Civic Hacking

September 24, 2017

 Come to Union County College to participate in a free coding session on the National Day of Civic Hacking. Union’s Director of Instructional Design Beth Ritter-Guth, will lead a session on coding relief projects for those affected by the recent hurricanes at Harvey and Irma.

The session will be held from 7 to 9 p.m. on Thurs., Sept. 28, 2017, at the College’s Cranford campus ...

Westfield Police Blotter: Home Burglary Reported & More

September 20, 2017

September 14, 2017 8:50 a.m.

A resident of the 1000 block of Harding Street reports a theft to their motor vehicles while parked in the driveway of their residence. The vehicles were left unsecured during these incidents. Unknown actor(s) entered the one vehicle, a silver-colored Nissan Pathfinder, and removed approximately $5 in US coin currency. Actor(s) also entered a Nissan Maxima and ...

It Really Doesn't Pay to Wait to Buy or Sell a Home

There will always be those who try to "time the market," but there's one factor you can't know — when buying a home will become more expensive.

Certainly you can tell from recent trends whether or not prices and mortgage interest rates are in your favor. Monthly prices have risen year-over-year for three years. Mortgage interest rates are slowly rising, but remain at ...

Meet Jane Hoffman

Name: Jane Hoffman

Years in Westfield: She’s a lifer!

Family:

Christian Hoffman

Avery, 9

Claire, 8

Blythe, 7

Foster kids in New Jersey couldn’t dream of a better advocate than Westfield’s own Jane Hoffman, founder of A Birthday Wish. The big-hearted wife and mother of three ultimately left a career in finance to start the nonprofit, which makes ...

Dog Lost in Westfield

UPDATE: Juliet was found safe and has been reunited with her owner.

ORIGINAL POST: Juliet, a boxer, was last spotted at 10:30 a.m. Wednesday by the south side firehouse in Westfield on Central Avenue. 

If you see her, please call 908-380-3319.

Free Pass to School Events for Westfield Senior Citizens

The Westfield Public School District is once again providing a senior citizens’ “Golden Pass” to Westfield residents 65 years and older to attend many school-sponsored events for free.  The pass will provide free admission to events that normally collect entrance fees such as Westfield High School musicals, matinee performances of plays and certain concerts.  The pass ...

Westfield Area YMCA Celebrates International Dot Day in Early Learning Programs

The Westfield Area YMCA Early Learning programs recently celebrated International Dot Day.  During this day of creativity, courage and collaboration, all classes began by reading and discussing the book “The Dot.” The classes then participated in a variety of age-appropriate activities including creating art projects with dot paints, paper circles, and other round items.  ...

Op Ed: High Schools Should Teach Students CPR

September 18, 2017

You walked through the halls together. You sat together at lunch. You couldn’t wait to go to college together. But all of it was destroyed by one minute of that day. One minute she was smiling. The next she was on the floor, pale, and lifeless. I couldn’t save her. Everyone gathered around her as she choked, no one knew what to do. I lost my best friend that day because my education ...

Teens Complete Youth Facilitator Training at Imagine

On Saturday, Sept. 9, Imagine held its’ sixth youth facilitator training. Eighteen amazing young people, ages 14 to 18, attended the full day training which sensitizes teen participants to the issue of childhood grief, and prepares the youth to assist with the facilitation of peer-support groups for children who are coping with the death of a parent or a sibling.

Through the ...

Two Scams You Should Know About

Scam Alert 1: Fake Donations

It's a testament to the generosity of the people in our nation to want to pitch in and help those affected by a catastrophe. As we see all the destruction that Harvey and now Irma are imparting, our hearts go out to these folks, and we want to respond by opening our wallets.

Unfortunately, criminals and scam artists are counting on that generous spirit, too, ...

Saving for Higher Education

Saving for Higher Education

Part 1 – Six Options for Savings

 

Introduction

Your children’s education may be the most cost-intensive purchase you ever make. A family of three children that all attend private universities will likely pay close to $1 million for their degrees. No matter your personal financial objectives or your children’s choice of ...

Sam Shepard's 'Simpatico' takes off

Sam Shepard’s “Simpatico” has a forceful workout at McCarter Theatre.

By Liz Keill

PRINCETON, NJ – If you’re at all familiar with the works of Sam Shepard, you know that he writes about gritty, unforgiving characters in what appear to be hopeless situations.

In “Simpatico,” we learn that Vinnie and Carter are former partners in a race horse ...

Obituaries

Oct 24, 1926 - Aug 14, 2017
Elizabeth H. List, 90, of Westfield and Cape May, NJ, died peacefully surrounded by her family ...
Read more

Belmar First Responders Pull 35 Swimmers from Perilous Ocean Waters Over Weekend

September 24, 2017

BELMAR, NJ — Despite a swimming ban on Belmar beaches triggered by dangerous rip currents, 35 people were pulled this weekend from the rough surf by first responders, according to authorities.

Although there were no serious injuries reported, ocean rescues on Sept. 23 and 24 kept the all-volunteer Belmar Water Rescue Team and Belmar First Aid Squad, as well as the police department, ...