Health & Wellness

Guest Column

Break Ups Are Difficult

5202fae955e25c0a47bd_photojoanie.jpg
5202fae955e25c0a47bd_photojoanie.jpg

Breaking up is very difficult. You can compare a break-up to a loss such as divorce or death. Navigating through a break up can be very challenging especially if it has been a long term relationship. Although length of relationship sometimes does not matter… it’s the intensity of the relationship and how invested you were Oftentimes we linger on in a relationship even knowing that it no longer serves us. Intellectually we know that the relationship no longer elevates us, challenges us nor brings out the best in us, instead it brings out the worst in us.

We stay in these relationships for so many reasons. Change and fear of the unknown can be so great that we are willing to live with the familiarity of the abuse even though it hurts us. Oftentimes people will jump into another relationship even before they are fully recovered from their existing relationship in order to avoid the pain, grief and healing process. Yet, it is with these difficult feelings that we can heal and get to a better place.  I normally tell my clients that if they haven’t fully understood why this relationship ended, what went wrong, what their triggers were, they will get into another one and repeat the exact same pattern. It’s important to realize that once you have experienced a break-up, you are in a vulnerable state. You are in a grieving mindset. For example, if you are coming out of a verbally abusive relationship, hearing someone new compliment you can lead you right down the same path in no time. Why? Because you haven’t fully grieved nor healed and perhaps haven’t had enough time to understand the reasons you stayed in the relationship for as long as you did.

Be patient with yourself and allow yourself all the time you need to heal. If you believe that you are hurting too much, it’s best to talk to someone. You could be grieving the relationship for so many reasons including fear of being alone, fear of dating again, low self esteem, feelings of rejection and abandonment.

Sign Up for E-News

It is so important that you take care of yourself during this time. Treat yourself to a massage, attend a yoga class, go to the gym, journal, and involve your friends in your plans.  During this time it is especially helpful to have a good support system and not isolate yourself.

We at the Hellenic Therapy Center, 567 Park Avenue, Scotch Plains, NJ have a team of licensed professionals available day, evening and weekend hours who can help.  Visit us at www.hellenictherapy.com or call 908-322-0112.

The opinions expressed herein are the writer's alone, and do not reflect the opinions of TAPinto.net or anyone who works for TAPinto.net. TAPinto.net is not responsible for the accuracy of any of the information supplied by the writer. Click here to submit a Guest Column.

TAP Into Another Town's News:

You May Also Be Interested In

Sign Up for E-News

Westfield

Boy Catches 19.5 Inch Catfish at Cranford Fishing Derby

June 18, 2018

CRANFORD, NJ – The Cranford Jaycees held their annual Leonard Snyder Memorial Fishing Derby at Nomahegan Park on Sunday.

From 9:30 a.m. to 11:30 a.m., kids spread throughout the park and casted their poles to compete for prizes that included gift cards and fishing poles. Registration began at 9 a.m., with boys and girls split into their own divisions and age groups. The age groups ...

Synopsis of Westfield Board of Education Meeting on June 12, 2018

June 14, 2018

Board President Gretchan Ohlig presented resolutions on behalf of the Board of Education to secondary school staff members who received awards of excellence this spring. They included Michele Belz and Dominick Ceccio - teachers of special education at Edison and Roosevelt Intermediate Schools, respectively -  as recipients of this year’s Optimist Club’s Intermediate School ...

Upcoming Events

Carousel_image_5dd1a9491eca98aed646_best_79fa8c672d731919f994_tap_building

Tue, June 19, 7:00 PM

Westfield Municipal Building, Westfield

Westfield Town Council Meeting

Community Calendar Government

Carousel_image_0fcaafb85e2e2677157f_img_5705_-_westfield_boe_2

Tue, June 19, 7:30 PM

BOE Administration Building, Westfield

Regular Meeting of Board of Education of Westfield

Education

Westfield Police Blotter: Tires Slashed on Scotch Plains Ave & More

June 13, 2018

June 6, 2018 3:05 p.m.

A resident of the 200 block of sunset avenue reports being the victim of a fraud. Unknown actor(s) utilized victims credit card to purchase an appliance valued at $1,000.00. Victim did not sustain any monetary loss during this incident. 

June 6, 2018 6:50 a.m.

A resident of the 100 block of Scotch Plains Avenue reports being the victim of a criminal mischief.

Jeffrey Christakos of Westfield a New Jersey Society of CPAs Volunteer Award Winner

June 18, 2018

The New Jersey Society of Certified Public Accountants (NJCPA) has announced the winners of its Volunteer Award at its 2018 Annual Convention and Expo at the Borgata Hotel Casino & Spa in Atlantic City. Thirty-nine individuals received the newly-created award, including 10 who received honorable mention and one who received the award posthumously.  

The individuals were selected based ...

33 Homes Sold June 10 to June 17 in Westfield, Scotch Plains, Fanwood, Mountainside & Cranford

Thirty-three Homes sold from June 10 to June 17, 2018, in Westfield, Scotch Plains, Fanwood, Cranford and Mountainside.*

 

TOWN         ADDRESS                      STYLE    ...

Westfield 3rd Graders Receive Top Honors at Mock Trial Competition

Westfield third graders recently received top honors for three mock court cases they presented at the New Jersey Bar Foundation Law Fair.

“I am proud that, out of 84 entries submitted, our third grade students (now fourth graders) in the Gifted Program have won 1st Place, 2nd Place and Honorable Mention in the 3rd Grade category [of the Law Fair ...

How Divorce or Separation Impacts Your Financial Life

Undeniably, divorce will have a significant effect on your life and especially your finances. There are around 800,000 divorces in the United States each year, according to the National Center for Health Statistics. Here's how to enter into the situation financially informed.

Know The Costs Sooner Rather Than Later
It’s never too early to gather information on how much money ...

Maximizing Your Portfolio’s Returns -- Beware the Taxman

The old adage in the investment world is that it is not what you make, but what you keep that counts.  Investors often overlook the ultimate deflator of portfolio returns – the taxman. An astute global asset allocation should be the number one priority for investors.  However, there are preferred ways to distribute this asset allocation over the spectrum of taxable and ...

Greatness

In honor of the Lubavitcher Rebbe's (of righteous memory) 24th  Yahrtzeit (anniversary of his passing) this coming Saturday the 16th.

Excerpts from an address given by Nobel-laureate Elie Wiesel on April 7, 1992, at a congressional dinner held in Washington on the occasion of the Rebbe's 90th birthday.

Some of you are aware of my admiration, not only ...

Healthy U Spring Symposium Marks 10 Years of Community Impact

WESTFIELD, NJ — More than 100 Healthy U champions and partners from YMCAs and schools from all over the state gathered at MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford on May 18 to celebrate 10 years of community impact. Healthy U was also formally presented with the 2017 CATCH® Award for Excellence in State Health. 

CATCH (Coordinated Approach to Child Health) is the ...

Is Summer Camp the Right Choice for My Child?

Is your child attending camp this summer? Is it their first experience away?  If yes, it can be an experience causing anxiety for you, for the parent and the child. 

This experience can be frightening to your child if it is their first time and it is so important that they do not see your worry or anxiety about leaving home for the first time… especially if it is sleep ...

AtlantiCast

AtlantiCast: Episode 16

Summer is in the air, and the latest episode of AtlantiCast is ready to help you enjoy some fun outdoors while staying safe! This week’s episode opens with tips for sunscreen usage from Atlantic Health System’s Chief Medical and Academic Officer, Dr. Jan Schwarz-Miller. You’ll also learn about how Atlantic Health System is advancing the future of health care through ...

Bridgewater Mall Shut Down for 2 Hours After Fight Breaks Out

June 14, 2018

BRIDGEWATER, NJ — No injuries have been reported after a fight involving a crowd of people shut down the Bridgewater Commons Mall for two hours Thursday evening.

According to a Nixle alert from the Bridgewater Township Police Department at 9 p.m., the investigation at the mall has been completed, and the mall was resuming normal business operations.

According to Somerset County ...

Obituaries

Eric Lieberman, 47, of Scotch Plains, passed away suddenly and unexpectedly Tuesday, May 22, 2018 ...
Read more