Talking about Grief

Gentle Resolutions for the Grieving

How can we cope and take care of ourselves in the midst of trauma and loss.  As we move through this holiday season with all of its expectations and commitments, please remember to be gentle with yourself and practice good self care.  Here are some resolutions to consider... 

I resolve...

- That I will grieve as much, and for as long, as I feel like grieving, and that I will not let others put a time table on my grief.

Sign Up for E-News

~That I will grieve in whatever way I feel like grieving, and I will ignore those who try to tell me what I should or should not be feeling and how I should or should not be acting.

~That I will cry whenever and wherever I feel like crying, and that I will not hold back my tears just because someone else feels I should be "brave" or "getting better" or "strong."

~That I will talk about my loved one as often as I want to, and will find people who know how to listen.

~That I will not blame myself for my loved one's death, and that I will constantly remind myself that I did the best job I could possibly have done. But when feelings of guilt are overwhelming, I will remind myself that this is a normal part of the grief process and it, too, will pass.



~That I will communicate with my loved one in whatever way feels comfortable and natural to me, and that I won't feel compelled to explain this to others or to justify or even discuss it with them.

~That I will try to eat, sleep, and exercise every day in order to give my body the strength it will need to help me cope with my grief.

~To know that I am not losing my mind and to remind myself that loss of memory, feelings of disorientation, lack of energy, and a sense of vulnerability are all normal parts of the grief process.

~To know that I will survive and heal, even though it may take a long time.

~To let myself heal and not to feel guilty about feeling better.

~To remind myself that grieving is a process and that I may not make steady upward progress. There will be good days and bad days. When I find myself feeling stuck, I will remind myself feeling that way is normal.

~That I will reach out at times, and try to help someone else, knowing that helping others will help me cope with my grief and grow more resilient.

~That even though my loved one is dead, I will opt for life when and as I am able.

 Adapted from New Year’s Resolutions for the Grieving by Ronnie Walker 

 

Imagine is a free year-round children’s grief support center that serves NJ children age 3-18 and young adults 18-30 who are grieving the death of a parent or sibling, or who are living with a parent of sibling with a life-altering illness. Imagine also provides grief education and training for thousands of teachers, parents, coaches, youth and other adults annually.  

 

 

The opinions expressed herein are the writer's alone, and do not reflect the opinions of TAPinto.net or anyone who works for TAPinto.net. TAPinto.net is not responsible for the accuracy of any of the information supplied by the writer.

TAP Into Another Town's News:

You May Also Like

Sign Up for E-News

Westfield

Union County Daughters of Ireland Raise More Than $3,500 with Cranford Bar Crawl

September 19, 2017

CRANFORD, NJ – Union County’s women of Irish descent are coming together to build relationships, network and raise money for young women of Irish heritage.

Two Clark women, Kate Mooney and Lori Connolly, teamed up last April to start the Union County Daughters of Ireland. They were inspired by the Friendly Sons of St. Patrick, a group of which Mooney’s father is a proud ...

It is Time for the Incumbent Mayor to Pass the Torch

September 19, 2017

Dear Editor:

There is a reason why the Westfield primary turn-out was historically high this year. Westfield residents are hungry for change. I, for one, give credit to the incumbent mayor for his accomplishments. After 12 years in office, some are to be expected. Length of service in politics is a double-edged sword; it can lead to complacency. The best thing about this ...

Dawn Mackey: We Have a Strong Consensus and Our Priorities Are Clear

September 19, 2017

Since announcing my candidacy, I'm excited to say I’ve spent nights and weekends knocking on doors so I could learn what matters most to you.

As a 12-year resident of Ward 4, I knew what was important to me and my family. As a candidate, though, I felt it was important to determine if my concerns were in alignment with yours. And what I learned is, overwhelmingly they are and the ...

Upcoming Events

Carousel_image_e7794c05218c83df7623_oktflyer-nv

Fri, September 22, 5:00 PM

NosVino, Westfield

Free Oktoberfest Beer Tasting!

Food & Drink

Carousel_image_fc5b5626003c59ab0830_8e5f9e67f8bdfb8a9e43_img_9192

Fri, September 22, 6:30 PM

The James Ward Mansion , Westfield

5th Annual Rahway Film Festival the The James ...

Arts & Entertainment

Carousel_image_09b8037a9192fd208201_car_wash

Sat, September 23, 10:00 AM

Allstate - Ron Bansky & Associates , Westfield

Free Car Wash Day at Allstate

Business & Finance

Former US Ambassador to Explore 'Challenges for a New Leadership' in Union County’s Celebration of Hispanic Heritage

September 19, 2017

The Union County Board of Chosen Freeholders is pleased to announce that former US Ambassador to Uruguay Julissa Reynoso will present “Challenges for a New Leadership,” a free lecture and Q&A session that leads off National Hispanic Heritage Month celebrations in Union County.

Challenges for a New Leadership is scheduled for Wednesday, September 27 in Room N4 of the Nomahegan ...

Westfield Police Blotter: DWI Suspect Charged with Assaulting Cop & More

September 13, 2017

September 6, 2017 10:04 p.m.

Officers Johnson and Natale arrested Jeffrey Crayton, age 31, of Piscataway for an outstanding Bridgewater Municipal Court warrant pursuant to a motor vehicle stop. Subject was processed and released after posting bail.

 

September 6, 2017 10:56 p.m.

Officers Pollock and Bagan arrested Jared Millien of Plainfield, NJ, age 25, on an active Union ...

Westfield Area YMCA Celebrates International Dot Day in Early Learning Programs

The Westfield Area YMCA Early Learning programs recently celebrated International Dot Day.  During this day of creativity, courage and collaboration, all classes began by reading and discussing the book “The Dot.” The classes then participated in a variety of age-appropriate activities including creating art projects with dot paints, paper circles, and other round items.  ...

Op Ed: High Schools Should Teach Students CPR

September 18, 2017

You walked through the halls together. You sat together at lunch. You couldn’t wait to go to college together. But all of it was destroyed by one minute of that day. One minute she was smiling. The next she was on the floor, pale, and lifeless. I couldn’t save her. Everyone gathered around her as she choked, no one knew what to do. I lost my best friend that day because my education ...

Whether You’re Selling Your Home or Want More Peace

Realtors always advise home sellers to eliminate clutter when selling their homes because it makes a remarkable difference. A clutter-free home can look like a new one altogether, and you shouldn’t wait until you sell your home to make it look better. Furthermore, clutter can have adverse effects and cause mental and physical stress. You can take steps to conquer your clutter by breaking ...

Teens Complete Youth Facilitator Training at Imagine

On Saturday, Sept. 9, Imagine held its’ sixth youth facilitator training. Eighteen amazing young people, ages 14 to 18, attended the full day training which sensitizes teen participants to the issue of childhood grief, and prepares the youth to assist with the facilitation of peer-support groups for children who are coping with the death of a parent or a sibling.

Through the ...

Two Scams You Should Know About

Scam Alert 1: Fake Donations

It's a testament to the generosity of the people in our nation to want to pitch in and help those affected by a catastrophe. As we see all the destruction that Harvey and now Irma are imparting, our hearts go out to these folks, and we want to respond by opening our wallets.

Unfortunately, criminals and scam artists are counting on that generous spirit, too, ...

Westfield Teachers Get a Jump Start on Technology

Westfield Public School teachers sharpened technology skills before the start of the school year during workshops presented on Aug. 28, 30 and 31. Led by Jeanine Gottko, a Master Technology Teacher in the district, approximately 80 teachers at all grade levels participated in workshops of their choice, including Virtual/Augmented Reality in the Classroom, Best Web Tools for 2017-2018, ...

Saving for Higher Education

Saving for Higher Education

Part 1 – Six Options for Savings

 

Introduction

Your children’s education may be the most cost-intensive purchase you ever make. A family of three children that all attend private universities will likely pay close to $1 million for their degrees. No matter your personal financial objectives or your children’s choice of ...

Moving with Your Children Out of State After a Divorce

One of the most contentious issues faced by many divorced parents has always been whether the custodial parent has the right to relocate with the parties’ children out of state. In an increasingly mobile society this has become an issue for many parents. Often custodial parents decide that they cannot continue to reside in New Jersey. They need to explore job opportunities in other states ...

Sam Shepard's 'Simpatico' takes off

Sam Shepard’s “Simpatico” has a forceful workout at McCarter Theatre.

By Liz Keill

PRINCETON, NJ – If you’re at all familiar with the works of Sam Shepard, you know that he writes about gritty, unforgiving characters in what appear to be hopeless situations.

In “Simpatico,” we learn that Vinnie and Carter are former partners in a race horse ...

Obituaries

Oct 24, 1926 - Aug 14, 2017
Elizabeth H. List, 90, of Westfield and Cape May, NJ, died peacefully surrounded by her family ...
Read more

Hillsborough: Children's Singer/Songwriter Faces Child Pornography Charge

September 19, 2017

NEWARK, NJ – Eric. S. Komar, a Hillsborough township resident, music teacher and singer/songwriter who performs for children at synagogues, Jewish Community Centers, camps and conventions nationwide was arrested at his home Tuesday and charged with receiving and distributing images of child sexual abuse, according to Acting U.S. Attorney William E. Fitzpatrick.

 Komar, 46, was ...