Talking about Grief

Gentle Resolutions for the Grieving

How can we cope and take care of ourselves in the midst of trauma and loss.  As we move through this holiday season with all of its expectations and commitments, please remember to be gentle with yourself and practice good self care.  Here are some resolutions to consider... 

I resolve...

- That I will grieve as much, and for as long, as I feel like grieving, and that I will not let others put a time table on my grief.

Sign Up for E-News

~That I will grieve in whatever way I feel like grieving, and I will ignore those who try to tell me what I should or should not be feeling and how I should or should not be acting.

~That I will cry whenever and wherever I feel like crying, and that I will not hold back my tears just because someone else feels I should be "brave" or "getting better" or "strong."

~That I will talk about my loved one as often as I want to, and will find people who know how to listen.

~That I will not blame myself for my loved one's death, and that I will constantly remind myself that I did the best job I could possibly have done. But when feelings of guilt are overwhelming, I will remind myself that this is a normal part of the grief process and it, too, will pass.



~That I will communicate with my loved one in whatever way feels comfortable and natural to me, and that I won't feel compelled to explain this to others or to justify or even discuss it with them.

~That I will try to eat, sleep, and exercise every day in order to give my body the strength it will need to help me cope with my grief.

~To know that I am not losing my mind and to remind myself that loss of memory, feelings of disorientation, lack of energy, and a sense of vulnerability are all normal parts of the grief process.

~To know that I will survive and heal, even though it may take a long time.

~To let myself heal and not to feel guilty about feeling better.

~To remind myself that grieving is a process and that I may not make steady upward progress. There will be good days and bad days. When I find myself feeling stuck, I will remind myself feeling that way is normal.

~That I will reach out at times, and try to help someone else, knowing that helping others will help me cope with my grief and grow more resilient.

~That even though my loved one is dead, I will opt for life when and as I am able.

 Adapted from New Year’s Resolutions for the Grieving by Ronnie Walker 

 

Imagine is a free year-round children’s grief support center that serves NJ children age 3-18 and young adults 18-30 who are grieving the death of a parent or sibling, or who are living with a parent of sibling with a life-altering illness. Imagine also provides grief education and training for thousands of teachers, parents, coaches, youth and other adults annually.  

 

 

The opinions expressed herein are the writer's alone, and do not reflect the opinions of TAPinto.net or anyone who works for TAPinto.net. TAPinto.net is not responsible for the accuracy of any of the information supplied by the writer.

TAP Into Another Town's News:

You May Also Be Interested In

Sign Up for E-News

Westfield

Scotch Plains Settles on its ‘Fair Share’ Affordable Housing Number

January 18, 2018

SCOTCH PLAINS, NJ — Revealing a number that seems to please no one locally, Mayor Al Smith and the Scotch Plains Council announced on Tuesday that the Township has settled on a figure of 598 units for its state-mandated affordable housing obligation.

"Scotch Plains was among 300 municipalities that filed petitions. Not all of them are compliant for one reason or another," Mayor ...

Synopsis of Westfield Board of Education Organization Meeting Jan. 9

January 11, 2018

ORGANIZATION OF BOARD 

Business Administrator Dana Sullivan acknowledged Lynn Benner, Kent Diamond and Peggy Oster, who were elected to three-year terms on the Westfield Board of Education on Nov. 7, 2017, and sworn into office prior to the start of the Jan. 9, 2018 meeting.  Ms. Ohlig was nominated to continue as president of the Westfield Board of ...

Upcoming Events

Sun, January 21, 10:00 AM

Temple Sholom, Scotch Plains

Temple Sholom Religious School Open House

Religions And Spirituality

Sun, January 21, 2:00 PM

Miller-Cory House Museum, Westfield

The Wonderful World of Snow Globes

Arts & Entertainment

Sun, January 21, 2:30 PM

The Reeve History and Cultural Resource Center, Westfield

Westfield Historical Society Presents: T. Thomas ...

Arts & Entertainment Giving Back Home & Garden

Sensory Friendly Theatre Welcomes Champions of Magic this Sunday

January 18, 2018

The Sensory Friendly Theatre series is hosting a special performance of the world class illusionists, Champions of Magic this Sunday, Jan. 21 at 2 p.m., at the Union County Performing Arts Center, 1601 Irving Street in Rahway. The series is sponsored by the Union County Board of Chosen Freeholders.

“Sensory Friendly Theatre offers a welcoming, non-judgmental space for children ...

Westfield Police Blotter: Reported Fraud & More

January 17, 2018

January 10, 2018 12:07 a.m.

Ahmad Komara, age 28, of North Brunswick, NJ, was arrested on the strength of an outstanding warrant for his arrest in the amount of $500. Subject was processed and posted bail.

 

January 14, 2018 11:49 a.m.

Kehrry Bernard, age 21, of Elizabeth, NJ, was arrested on the strength of an outstanding warrant for her arrest in the amount of $250 from ...

Point View's Q1 2018 Newsletter Available Now

Point View Wealth Management's First Quarter of 2018 edition of Outlook has published, featuring articles offering a wide range of topics for investors as we enter the New Year, such as:

Potential risks to your investments in 2018;
Wrapping your head around Bitcoin;
Debating the FAANG stocks;
Be cautious on Robo-Advisors; and finally,
Explore and understand ...

Are You Ready for the 2018 Tax Season?

2018 tax filing season begins Jan. 29.

 

Tax returns due April 17. The IRS set the Jan. 29 opening date.

 

The IRS expects that the earliest date the EITC/ACTC related refunds will be available in taxpayers' bank accounts (or on debit cards if they chose direct deposit) is Feb. 27, 2018 — providing that there are no other issues ...

Westfield High School Students Perform with Central Jersey Orchestra

Three Westfield High School students — Junlin Yi, Kevin Li and Kelly Eagan — performed with the Central Jersey Music Educators Association Region Orchestra on Jan. 7 at the CJMEA concert held in Montgomery High School. 

According to Craig Stanton, Westfield High School Orchestra Director, "Every year hundreds of students prepare and audition for the ...

Addressing Anxiety in Adolescents

January 16, 2018

Anxiety can be one of the most unpleasant emotions that people feel. The word “anxiety” describes periods of fear, worry, nervousness, and restlessness.

Anxiety comes with thoughts of danger and helplessness. Life experiences, especially those that occurred in childhood and adolescence, often determine our perception and expectations of threats and vulnerability.

We react with ...

Garwood Family Center YMCA Students Honor Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Garwood Family Center YMCA students honored the legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. by learning about his role in history.

The Garwood Family Center YMCA is a branch of the Westfield Area YMCA. To learn more about full-day and half-day early learning programs, summer camp, and before and after school care for Garwood students, contact Director Shannon McGillis Jackson ...

Dog Found in Roselle Still Being Held at Newark Shelter

A dog that was found on Jan. 9 is still being held at the Newark Animal Shelter because no owner has claimed him. 

Roselle Police said the dog was found in the area of the Roselle side of Warinanco Park. The dog has a distinct blue eye and brown eye. Police also said the animal was checked and had no chip or tags. 

The Newark Animal Shelter has ...

Governor Signs Legislation — Breastfeeding is Now a Protected Category Under the NJ Law Against Discrimination

Effective Monday, January 8, 2018, the New Jersey Law Against Discrimination was amended to include breastfeeding as a protected status. As a result, an employer cannot refuse to hire, cannot discharge and cannot treat someone adversely with regard to the terms, conditions or privileges of their employment because that employee is breastfeeding and needs workplace ...

The New Tax Plan: When It Comes To Real Estate, There are Still Winners

Let’s see who wins and who may lose.

We have all heard a lot about the new tax plan. Depending on your individual financial situation, you may have a positive or negative take on the tax bill. But how does it impact real estate? That also depends on a few things, like where you are buying a house, how much money you have, and what you intend to do with it.

The new tax plan has had a ...

AtlantiCast

AtlantiCast Medical Minute – Winter Weather Edition

On this episode of AtlantiCast Medical Minute, learn how to take the fight to Old Man Winter, while staying safe! Learn some winter health tips with Anthony Brutico, MD, Medical Director of the Emergency Department at Newton Medical Center.

 

Mark Zuckerberg Should Be Concerned About His Legacy; Punishing Legitimate Media Organizations and Small Businesses Isn’t the Answer; Regulation Is

Facebook recently announced it will be changing its feed and algorithms so that news from publishers and posts from businesses will be relegated in favor of posts about your neighbor’s cat. 

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg said that Facebook is making these changes because he is concerned about his legacy and that of the company he founded. If ...

Obituaries

Feb 28, 1946 - Dec 28, 2017
Mary Jo (Wade) Juelis, 71, formerly of Westfield, died peacefully on Thursday, Dec. 28, 2017, ...
Read more

Raccoon Attacks Hillsborough Woman and Her Dog

January 17, 2018

HILLSBOROUGH, NJ — A raccoon attacked a 63-year-old woman and her dog a few steps outside the front door of her residence Tuesday morning, according to police.

Irene Rothschild told police she had walked out the front door of her home at 424 Bigley Road with her dog around 11 a.m. when the raccoon attacked, biting and scratching the dog.

Neighbors on social media say Rothschild ...