An Escape to the Cape

Last week, we went on a midweek vacation to Cape Cod, which we have been to a zillion times. One of the things we love about it is that it will never grow into the kind of annoying place where every restaurant is bragging about their “price points” and their “brand.” Cape Cod will only swell to the exact size that people are willing to put up with the traffic on Route 6. The people whose head explodes if they wait in traffic for 20 minutes will find someplace else to go on vacation.

We always end up in Provincetown, at the tip of the Cape. Most of the year, the place is 99.9 percent gay. But for three months in the summer, tourists descend upon the place, and everybody gets a chance to see what the other half is up to. There is no need for a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy here. You don’t even have to ask—nobody is shy about telling. Provincetown is surrounded by water and showtunes, so it pays to be both buoyant and flamboyant at the same time.

Leave the car at the hotel, and ride your bike into town, because there are signs posted all over the place that your car will be towed at the owner’s expense, even if you’re driving it at the time. If you must take a car, take somebody else’s, so if the inevitable happens they will have to pay for the towing. It’s right there on the sign.

Sign Up for E-News

We stopped in at Governor Bradford’s tavern for some karaoke. The place is a mecca for people of alternative sexual orientation whose enthusiasm for music far exceeds their singing talent. The head transvestite who was running the show introduced Eric, who sang a version of Shania Twain’s “I Feel Like a Woman.” This was hardly big news—so did just about everyone else there, except for the women.

For such a theatrical bunch, you would hope that the singing would be better than usual, but instead it’s only louder than usual. At the end of the performance the emcee said, “That was Eric—let’s all give it up for him!” Even though it should be quite the opposite.

Somebody else sang, “Killing Me Softly,” only they sang it really loud. I guess they were thinking that if they killed me louder with the song it would be faster and more humane. You might as well strum my face with your fingers, too, as long as you’re at it.

While we were sipping cocktails, we played a game of chess—you can also play backgammon at the Governor’s; there are boards at some of the tables. It wasn’t my fault that my queen was a replacement from a smaller chess set and looked more like the bishop, but when I wasn’t paying attention my wife swooped in and captured my queen. It dawned on me that somebody capturing somebody else’s queen must happen fairly often here.

The next morning when we were eating breakfast at an outdoor cafe, the Provincetown town crier came over, dressed in a Pilgrim outfit, ringing his bell and working the crowd. I was thinking what a great job that would be for when I retire, being a Pilgrim somewhere and town crying. Somewhere where it’s hot, but low humidity, and the taxes are low and they tolerate Pilgrims pretty well. What qualifications would I need to town cry? Maybe I should just start out as a town whiner and work my way up.

Say hello at rlife8@hotmail.com. And join Rick and the Trashcan Poets this Saturday night at Armonk House in Armonk.

The opinions expressed herein are the writer's alone, and do not reflect the opinions of TAPinto.net or anyone who works for TAPinto.net. TAPinto.net is not responsible for the accuracy of any of the information supplied by the writer.

TAP Into Another Town's News:

You May Also Be Interested In

Sign Up for E-News

Yorktown

What Is Cambridge Analytica?

Cambridge Analytica is a research organization. Apparently, it is funded by the Mercer family, second only to the Koch brothers on the liberal hit list. Both, through their philanthropy, spend millions on various needy organizations like hospitals. What makes them liberal targets is their funding of various conservative think tanks and candidates. I digress.

Cambridge Analytica used Facebook ...

The Best of the Best: Albert Capellini

In the spring of 1991, after answering an ad for a judicial race placed in the local Yorktown paper, I was talked into the unenviable position of running for Yorktown councilman as a Democrat in our then solidly Republican town.

Having been a practicing lawyer since 1974, I felt confident about my qualifications for the position of town judge, but being elected to the Town Board was quite ...

‘Sister Act’: A Musical Like Nun Other

Of all the Broadway musicals I’ve seen over the years at Westchester Broadway Theatre, only a handful have elicited the noisily enthusiastic audience response I observed at the recent opening night of “Sister Act.”

There were outbursts of applause in the middle of some numbers, and several clever turns of phrase sprinkled in the dialogue landed squarely, to the delight of big ...

Cleaning the Empty Nest

Part of the shock of being a part-time empty nester is when the kids come back to visit and I have to watch my house transform overnight from a pristine haven of OCD goodness to a place that looks like an explosion happened at Forever 21.

After my kids moved mostly out, I put away whatever tchotchkes they chose to leave behind and then I put on a hazmat suit and cleaned their rooms until they ...

Upcoming Events

Thu, April 26, 1:30 PM

United Methodist Church, Shrub Oak

IBM Retirees Club

Community Calendar

Fri, April 27, 10:30 AM

Yorktown Community Cultural Center, YORKTOWN HEIGHTS

Tai Chi for Women with Cancer

Health & Wellness

Guiding Eyes for the Blind Launches Wag-a-Thon Fundraiser

April 18, 2018

On April 17, Guiding Eyes for the Blind, a non-profit organization dedicated to creating and supporting life-changing connections between people with vision loss and exceptional guide dogs, announced its first annual Wag-a-thon, a “virtual marathon in a month” fundraiser beginning on May 1.

The Wag-a-thon is a cumulative marathon that you and your dog can do anywhere, at your own ...