Lost In Suburbia

I Am Woman, Hair Me Roar

When you have short hair, it is inevitable that you will spend an inordinate amount of time growing your hair out and then getting fed up and cutting it again. I have been down this hair-brained road several dozen times before, complaining for months until I am convinced my husband is going to cut it all off while I sleep just so he doesn’t have to listen to me whine about it one more day.

The last time I decided to torture myself with this hair thing, I made it about six months before my husband told me to either cut it or shut it. Of course, it wasn’t the only thing I’d talked about for six months, but it was definitely in the top five, along with 1) my thighs, 2) my wrinkles, 3) my butt, and 4) my kids (I had to throw that last one in there so I didn’t sound completely self-involved).

I actually really liked my former short, spiky “do,” but various people who offered opinions I didn’t ask for convinced me that my short haircut was making me look older, and when you’re over 50, being told something makes you look older goes over about as big as a prescription for a colonoscopy.

Sign Up for E-News

This time around, I managed to get past the dreaded “growing it out over my ears” stage and the “looks a little like a Billy Ray Cyrus mullet” stage without running screaming to the hair salon. It helped that whenever I had a hair attack, my stylist seemed to be out of town or all booked up. It also helped that my husband hid all the scissors in the house, except the kids’ old plastic school scissors. I did actually try to use them in desperation one day, but they only cut one hair at a time.

Eventually, the day came when my hair was officially “grown out,” and even though I was getting lots of positive feedback, I still wasn’t sure if it was the right “do” for me.

“So, what do you think of my new hairstyle?” I asked my daughter one day.

She contemplated my “do” for several seconds.

“You look like someone who could be the president of the PTA,” she finally responded.

I’m sure she meant this in the most positive, mundane, suburban-mom kind of way. This was kind of like the time she told me when I had on a pair of jeans that I had a Mom Butt, which I’m quite certain is not nearly as complimentary as telling someone they have a Victoria’s Secret Butt. And while I knew there were plenty of cool, fashionable, self-confident PTA presidents out there, I was pretty sure they were not the ones my daughter was referencing when she made that comment.

Scraping up what was left of my good self-image, I pulled my presidential hair back in a ponytail and then drove directly to the hair salon.

That night, my husband walked in and noticed my new short haircut.

“Lost the battle?” he observed.

“Yes,” I said. “By a hair.”

For more Lost in Suburbia, follow Tracy on Facebook at facebook.com/LostinSuburbiaFanPage.

The opinions expressed herein are the writer's alone, and do not reflect the opinions of TAPinto.net or anyone who works for TAPinto.net. TAPinto.net is not responsible for the accuracy of any of the information supplied by the writer.

TAP Into Another Town's News:

You May Also Be Interested In

Sign Up for E-News

Yorktown

Here's What You Missed Last Week

Last week, the Daily News ran a headline, “When is our father coming home?” This dealt with a person here illegally, married to an American woman with a family, who was arrested at an Army base while delivering pizza. You are supposed to think that U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE), under Trump, is tearing families apart. As usual, it was a crock of cow pies. It was ...

Remembering Bobby Kennedy

I’m not the type of person who is prone to hero worship. Witnessing people screaming hysterically during rock concerts never sat well with me. Yes, I did see many a great group (the Rolling Stones, Simon & Garfunkel, the Who, the Doors), yet my demeanor was always one reflecting inner peace rather than extreme exuberance.

I was offered tickets to Woodstock (yes, originally you needed ...

Competing—Against Yourself

This is the time of year when students are recognized at public ceremonies for notable achievements in their studies, their sports and in their extracurricular pursuits.

Where we live, there are awards in various sports that are named for our son, who also is memorialized by town ballfield Harrison Apar Field of Dreams and a charitable foundation of the same name.

Due to a rare dwarfism, ...

I Come from the Land Down Under

I know this is a family column, so I’m going to put this in as delicate terms as possible.

This morning I woke up and I knew, as sure as the sun shines over Bora Bora, that something was very, very wrong in that place in my body where the Bora Bora sun doesn’t shine.

It’s that place I used to refer to my daughter as her hoo-hoo. But it certainly wasn’t a happy ...

Andy’s at It Again

June 13, 2018

A couple of years ago, I wrote to question why Andy wasn’t citing his sources when he flings dirt at any Democrat he wants to malign.

Well, he’s at it again. In the latest iteration, he tells us that Obama was responsible for putting a spy in the Trump campaign. He then repeats himself three more times to emphasize his point, but gives no proof or evidence to back up the ...

Yorktown Youth Soccer Club Results

June 15, 2018

Sunday, June 10  - The Yorktown Crew clinched the Westchester Youth Soccer League JV-1 Division with a 4-3 win over Rivertown FC on Sunday. The team has been on a remarkable run for the past 2 seasons with a team record of 16-1-1. Sunday’s matchup vs Rivertown had a championship like atmosphere as Rivertown trailed Yorktown by 1 point in the standings. The Crew worked hard all week in ...